Being Down

down for the count

I don't mean feeling sad, I'm referring to a submissive after an exchange of power to their Dominant.

It is very sexy and for myself, comes with responsibility. Once the exchange has completed, the sub often does not know or acknowledge their own limits anymore.

Normally once we've concluded the exchange, we conduct aftercare. Tonight I have allowed us to sleep with aftercare coming in the morning. It will be interesting to see how this change pans out.

What's in a name?

I struggle with labels with alot of things, including in relationships.

For the longest time, Smurfer and I struggled with what to call our relationship, what to label it.

It was boyfriend/girlfriend for a time, then it became Dom/Sub, and then Daddy/Little girl... and now as a result we sometimes have a hybrid mix of the three.

With each label comes different names;

Respect vs Fear

What is the difference between respecting someone you love and fearing them?

Is there a difference? Can both be present and work together?

I'm struggling with this with Smurfer lately.

Our relationship is evolving, we're in a growing stage and teetering on the edges of Dom/sub, Daddy/lg and lovers.

Smurfer craves respect, almost desperately I'd say. When
I get upset, I tend to do disrespectful things, like sighing, rolling my eyes or sticking out my tongue.

Good Daddy

Lately I don't feel like I'm a very good Daddy.

I'm not sure it's any one thing. Pressures of work are getting to me as I recover from surgery (a recovery that is going well); a little girl I feel as though I'm failing; so many different styles of D/s out there; relationship growing pains; and likely more.

I know my lg loves receiving gifts. I very much enjoy her smiles and lifted spirits from a well placed gift. I do have a fear that material possessions become too integrated in our relationship and that there will be an expectation of buying my lg's love.

I bounce around alot.

I am a very emotional person. I can go from the lowest low to the highest high and back again within a few hours.

I'm very sensitive and it's easy to hurt my feelings. When my feelings are hurt I will pout, get sulky or get very quiet.

Through the years I've often wondered if it's an indication of some sort of mental illness, but lately I'm starting to wonder if it's just because of my immaturity/or lg side.

I was late doing many things that 'grown-ups' do, so I wonder if it's made me a childish adult in good ways as well as bad ways.

How to cheer me up

Sometimes I get really down, sad and just despondent.

Smurfer figured out how to instantly cheer me up....give me a present!

It doesn't have to be expensive or big, but any present is a sure fire way to make me happy!

For instance, I got really sad the other day and he gave me a toy that you have to build. It had wheels, tunnels, ramps and marbles. I spent quite a bit of time playing with it, and Smurfer spent time with me playing with it as well.

Sometimes he hurts me.

It's never intentional. It's never physical. But it happens.

As a sub or a lg, I wouldn't even think of looking at other men, It never crosses my mind. I don't talk to other single men, or interact with them in any way. On FL, Smurfer has made it clear its not okay for me to talk to other doms or other men he doesnt know about. It makes sense to me, I am his and he's possessive.


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