Punishment

We're still kind of new to the punishment part of the d/s or dd/lg relationship.

At first any punishment would be dealt out as a spanking. Recently Smurfer has introduced new punishments (we generally talk about them before, but not always). The last few times I've been punished I had to write lines, stand in the corner or face the wall.

My least favourite (well the lesser of a few evils) punishment is the facing the wall/standing in the corner. Which probably makes it the most effective.

Consequences

I was going to write a post about aftercare but "consequences" is on my mind.

I often feel like people in general are unaware that actions have consequences. They just do what they do and turn a blind eye to what they cause.

Understanding consequences in a DD/lg relationship seems doubly important. I'm not saying you must foresee all consequences, I'm saying you need to be aware that there are always consequences or results to every action and we need to watch for them.

Kinkster Excuse

I'm not so much astonished as simply saddened that I keep seeing people break vows in the name of kink.

Specifically on FetLife, I see an overwhelming support toward leaving a spouse to jump into various fetishes and relationships.

No, it's not everyone, but the fetish culture seems to promote breaking relationships asunder.

Each situation is it's own unique and complex tapestry however this is not about judging any one person. I'm just stepping back and looking at FetLife and watching the traps that may snare me.

Value

Lately I feel like a toy.

I realize that despite my theoretical Dom label in the relationship with my lg, I exist for her pleasure and her pleasure alone. She takes the experiences she wants, while my pleasure is shrugged off into a future possibility to tantalize me and keep me in line. I don't take what I want because what I want can not be taken. It has to be voluntarily given. At times it seems like it has and then it's taken away. It's the carrot on a stick.

Daddy hurt me.

And I'm upset with him.

I've been rehashing it in my brain over and over.

He didn't even kiss the stuff off my face.

How could he?

He hurt me and I'm a sad little girl.

Soothing...

I got my first soother recently from Smurfer.

I was always absolutely against the idea but I have definitely warmed up to it.

On one hand it's embarrassing and humiliating and it makes me very excited.

On the other hand...it's comforting and makes me feel safe.

We've used it for both intimacy and comfort.

My little loves me...

We have been growing and overcoming speedbumps lately. It seems that before I can put together an article about our current obstacle, we resolve it. Some issues become totally resolved, others are at least on their way. Certainly some may return however we keep getting stronger.

We do have an unbalanced physical relationship, however lately that's another thing which has improved. My little girl is starting to understand that her Daddy needs voluntary attention from time to time and has acted upon this understanding. I'm very proud of her.

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