She Called Me Daddy for the First Time

SS had been emotional lately and was specifically lashing out at me again. Sometimes it seems like she doesn't realize how much I love and cherish her. I will continue to show her and find new ways to offer her affirmation.

I may be Daddy but I have feelings. I know I must be the mature level-headed one and can't get caught up in the negative spirals. I am happy with this role and taking care of my little girl.

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When I'm upset

I tend to lose my cool alot and my voice gets impassioned and raised. I'm not good at dealing with anger and emotions.

Sometimes I get punished when I get upset or am angry with Smurfer and I yell at him.

I don't know how to deal with my emotions when I'm mad at Smurfer. As a lg or a sub I get held accountable for everything I do wrong and every mis-step I make. Sometimes I agree with the punishment right away, and sometimes it takes me a while to agree with it.

Who holds Smurfer accountable?

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Demure and Intrepid

SoundlySmurfed and I attended our first fetish club. I doubt either of us knew what to expect and I was very impressed with SS's calm demeanor. She didn't panic once.

We arrived way too early and waited in the car. Since it's a bit of a trip for us, we may still arrive early next time but hangout nearby for while. I like being there as it opens.

People were friendly and we received a tour of the public and private areas. The swings in one of the private areas intrigued me as well as the shower, but mostly I think we'll want to be in the public area.

Our first time

Smurfer and I finally went to a local kink/fetish club last night.

I was a bit nervous but really enjoyed it once we got inside.

I even asked Smurfer if I could wear my collar and be his submissive for the night. (Its been a very long time since I've asked to wear my collar for him.)

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Using Safewords all the time

I mentioned before that sometimes I forget my safewords.

Lately I find myself using my safeword even when we arent in a scene. I think it frustrates Smurfer a bit when I do it. I do it because we've decided in play that me saying 'no' doesnt mean stop. So if we're in a situation outside of a scene and something happens that I want to end, I automatically say my safeword. It's to let Smurfer know that I'm serious and want whatever is happening to stop.

I know its leading to overuse of my safeword but what else can I do?

Regressing

I'm a child by nature, I still enjoy playing on the swings, watching fireworks, watching fireflies, and playing tag.

I've always been like this and Smurfer seems to enjoy that part of me.

Lately I've noticed I've started to regress further into a littler-lg sometimes.

Sometimes I forget my colours

Sometimes I get so involved in a scene that I forget my safe words completely.

For awhile I didnt know what this was called, but then I learned it's called 'sub-spacing'.

Smurfer has the ability to make me completely believe a scene is real and as a lg I'll completely throw myself into the scene and forget limits.

When I'm like this, it's up to Smurfer to see my cues and figure out whats going on, if we need to stop, if I'm okay, etc.

We've yet to figure out another solution for when this happens. (Something that can be done from my side.)

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