I was going to write a post about aftercare but "consequences" is on my mind.

I often feel like people in general are unaware that actions have consequences. They just do what they do and turn a blind eye to what they cause.

Understanding consequences in a DD/lg relationship seems doubly important. I'm not saying you must foresee all consequences, I'm saying you need to be aware that there are always consequences or results to every action and we need to watch for them.

Sometimes in BDSM it is forgotten that our own hedonistic desires can harm other people. One may think that they're only affecting themselves, however that is rarely the case.

I guess I envision a fetish community that cares for everyone (even those affected who are not in the community).

My actions can affect most directly my lover and lg, but also her family, friends, co-workers as well as my family, friends, and clients. We often don't realize how much we affect those around us. This can be especially true for those who get depressed. Someone, if not many people, love you and care about you, regardless of how low you feel.

It can be hard when someone asks you what they should do in a situation and you know there will be consequences to any answer or action and yet you can't clearly see what they'll be.

Do your best, as I will do mine. Be patient. Praise those around you (yes, even the jerk that irritates you). Laugh, laugh some more, and giggle often. Don't take this as rolling over for the wrong people, certainly stand up for yourself and learn about righteous anger, but love them no matter how awful they are.

Patience, praise, laughter.


SoundlySmurfed's picture

It makes sense, every action has a reaction , etc.

Sometimes it'd be nice to just make the decision, and screw the consequences.