Kinkster Excuse

I'm not so much astonished as simply saddened that I keep seeing people break vows in the name of kink.

Specifically on FetLife, I see an overwhelming support toward leaving a spouse to jump into various fetishes and relationships.

No, it's not everyone, but the fetish culture seems to promote breaking relationships asunder.

Each situation is it's own unique and complex tapestry however this is not about judging any one person. I'm just stepping back and looking at FetLife and watching the traps that may snare me.

I myself place a large weight on my word. I don't need a promise or ritualistic vow personally as my word is my integrity. Promises and vows are words and are thusly also weighty.

"Oh, this new person you met on FL understands you better, so leave that other person for this one. Later you'll grow into polyamoury anyway."

Heh, well, polyamoury is another subject. If it works for those involved, it works!

It's the partner exchange on FL that makes me wary. At first I heard about how kinksters are so very different from swingers but I really don't see it. FL reminds me of an old BBS from before the Internet that was very cliquey. You were either in or out.

Luckily I don't believe I've gotten on anyone's bad side yet.

There is an empowerment culture in FL, who's goal is to make you feel good about leaving your word/promise/vow behind and embrace FL. It's a bit scary.


SoundlySmurfed's picture

The whole site makes me leery, innocent things can turn not so innocent very fast I think. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be a part of FL.