Smurfer's blog

Humiliation

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be sexually humiliated. It was always like a pressure cooker; as if i'd explode if some girl didn't take advantage of me and dominate me...

Fall Back

As you might have read in SSs post, we're transitioning our lifestyle to "bedroom only." 

I have no idea what this type of relationship will look like. Will we play with others at clubs? Will we ever play again?

I think about everything in my "lifestyle" bag and wonder what I'm still interested in. Maybe it's time to sell or get rid of some things.

Afterglow for the Dom

I'm thinking about roles and the sexual component to them.

I read a lot that BDSM isn't about sex.

No Fanatical Focus

I have many hobbies and activities that finding time for them all is difficult. I never fit into a single clique because I don't spend the bulk of my time on any one activity.

Spanking is easily my favourite hobby. It's an integral part of me that I would rather never do without.

Recently the single tail whip has my attention but rope has fallen by the wayside.

I'd love to have more humiliation play however it's difficult to find the right people to include.

Xmas Eve 2014

We're heading to bed. It isn't true Xmas Eve but our version. My poor little girl went down a little too far in our play and needed some tlc.

I surprised her with baby wipes before we put her diaper on this time. She did well and is adorable with her soother in her mouth.

Empowerment

One of the things I worry about is SoundlySmurfed feeling submissive to others.

The idea that a co-worker or stranger could find out her lifestyle, embarrass her with the knowledge, and cause her to submit.

SS is a strong woman, but she's also very concerned about how others see her and may even consider her submissive side to be a weakness.

I see the strength it gives her as well as the power she wields, but she just does not seem able to perceive it.

Relationships & Jealousy

SoundlySmurfed is possessive, jealous, and sometimes controlling.

These aren't complaints, just observations. She gets jealous when I spend time with friends or family.

It's not that I don't understand the jealousy at all. I'd love to spend most of my time with her.

It generates a difficult situation for me sometimes. I have four nieces and five nephews with five in total that I'm close to and another two I'm relatively close with. I have had an open door relationship with them all as well as three vanilla friends.

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