Back in Black

SS took a break from the 24/7 aspect of our relationship and has recently stated she wants it back.

We've talked it over and I'm trying to make sure her reasons are good and do my best to help us be on the same page.

Here's the thing; as much as I desire this, there's a hesitation in me. Should I take up the responsibility again?

This time away from our 24/7 kinky life (we still used the roles in play) gave her opportunity to run around without rules and spread her wings.

What is the consequence? Well, when SS gets stressed, angry, sad, frustrated, and otherwise upset; she cuts herself, shops, and/or drinks.

All of these things were dealt with within our Dom/sub - Domestic Discipline - Daddy/little dynamic. Without that 24/7 dynamic she's living beyond her means, using alcohol and cutting to cope, and has allowed the situation to reach a breaking point.

Now that she's done all of these things, she wants back into the protective comfort of submission to a loving Daddy.

I should mention that some good likely came from this time as well. She's had a joyride outside the comfort of my arms and perhaps enjoyed not having to check in or consult me. She may have made some mistakes, but who doesn't. I think she may have even made strides in setting boundaries in other aspects of her life without my direct help. Perhaps she's also learned about utilizing our strengths in the relationship and us each giving what we have (instead of trying to force out what we don't have). While it's been a frustrating time for me, I wanted to make sure it's noted that I think some good has also come from it.

Will I take her back? I believe so. I won't jump in right away despite the appeal. Right now we're going over what each aspect means in the relationship.

Contracts never really worked for us but we've talked again about writing it all down to at least make sure it's clear. What types of punishment are acceptable, what being submissive means, what happens when Daddy makes a mistake, will SS communicate her concerns, etc.

As we neared the time SS started feeling like she wanted to be my sub again, we started having some terrible fights. What were they about? Nothing significant and yet they snowballed into such havoc that we've each been badly hurt.

What do I know for sure? I know I love her with all my heart and want to be with her as often as possible. I know that we fit together and I desire her physically, mentally and emotionally.


SoundlySmurfed's picture

I'm glad we're discussing the possibilities again :)

SoundlySmurfed's picture

No matter what we chose to do I think we'll find a way to both be happy.