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Kendra Holliday Celebrates Sexuality in St Louis!
Updated: 1 week 5 days ago

3 Things Men Should Leave in 2017

Sat, 01/13/2018 - 13:05

My latest unsolicited cock shot experience was one of the things that inspired my dear brother from another mother, David Wraith, to shoot this excellent video:

Listen to him explain why it is a bad idea to:

    1. Send unsolicited cock shots
    2. Catcall
    3. Mansplain

David is a local sex educator and one of the co-founders of Sex Positive St Louis, a not-for-profit organization we founded in 2010 in order to create safe spaces for people to explore their sexuality in a positive, constructive, shame-free zone. There should be an org like this in EVERY city!

We usually host about four events a month, and I have a few in the queue to create. Stay tuned for talks on asexuality, dating, and polyamory! Check our calendar for updates.

Love Like an Ocean: Diving Deep into Polyamory

Wed, 01/10/2018 - 11:15
Like an ocean, love can be
expansive and fluid

Ed Note: This article was orginally published in July 2011 on BlogHer.

My partner and I have the perfect relationship. For us, anyway. We’ve been together for ten years. We’re not married, but are in a long-term relationship. We do not live together, preferring to keep our households, finances, and families separate. Autonomy suits us well.

To top it all off, we are polyamorous; meaning, our relationship is open, allowing us to experience intimate relationships with other people, such as dating, loving, and exploring sexually. Sometimes we do it together; other times, separately.

Sorry for bragging, but…

We don’t fight. We have amazing chemistry and enjoy an incredibly satisfying sex life. We have matching libidos and desire. We can’t get enough of each other. Our relationship is based on mutual worship and respect, and our number one rule when it comes to dating other people is they need to respect both of us.

Before I knew of polyamory, I thought I was defective and unfit to be in a relationship. After years of disappointing my partners, a series of men who enjoyed playing with the girlfriends I brought home, but freaked at the mere mention of another “sausage in the room,” I resigned myself to remaining single.

Then I met Matthew, who was recently divorced from his wife of ten years. What started out as a happy, traditional monogamous union with Matthew left his wife stifled and miserable. Determined not to repeat those same mistakes again, he took a leap and partnered with me, a renegade female who was in charge of her sexuality and knew what she wanted.

Honoring my atypical outlook on life, Matthew told me he would not hold me to a standard he was not willing to hold himself. So here we are four years later: a polyamorous couple in a sea of monogamy.

Our nation is one of serial monogamy. Polyamory applies the same concept of loving more than one person in a lifetime, the only difference being that these relationships overlap in the case of polyamory, because life is too short.

The unusual details of our relationship dynamic sometimes leads people to believe our relationship is not serious. On the contrary, it is very serious. I hope he’s there with me when it is my time to die.

Sex with him can be so fierce and fantastic. He’s larger than life, outweighing me by 180 lbs., a Beast to my Beauty. I get a contact high from his testosterone just being in the same room as him.

How could I possibly keep all that man to myself?

Ironically, he is the first man I feel I could be monogamous with; after all, our kinks and libido match perfectly and we’re both so sexually creative.

Honestly, just having the permission to sleep with other people – the FREEDOM – is enough to keep me content for months at a time.

We aren’t actively looking for other lovers — we let it grow organically through friendships. We’re happy to savor the moment for what it is, deriving as much pleasure from sparking with someone on a mental OR physical level. We don’t need to touch someone in order to feed and thrive off their energy, but if that type of human interaction transpires, it’s a bonus.

Our world is our kingdom. He is my King; I am his Queen. Spiritual teacher David Deida boldly states: “If you’re a man who wants to be with other women, you damn well better take great care of the one you have.” Matthew does a stellar job of fulfilling my emotional and physical needs. I feel secure with him in a way that was lacking with past relationships.

Why Polyamory?

So often monogamous couples have mismatched libidos or similar challenges, and have limited options on how to remedy that situation. This adds up to a LOT of people not getting their needs met, which results in a bunch of unfulfilled and unhappy folks. This leads to insecurity and fear, which is often unfairly projected on others.

Why is it acceptable in our society to love more than one sport with a passion? Read different books? Why is it acceptable to love more than one child? Yet it’s not okay to love more than one person romantically at a time.

I compare monogamy to a Chinese takeout menu. Let’s pretend you can choose whatever you want from that menu, which is still plenty of variety. But then one day someone offers you an Italian menu. Would you stick with the same diet you’ve been eating for months, or would you want to try something new?  (This is not to say that you wouldn’t go back to your preferred meal after you’ve tasted the other.)

Our brains thrive on novel experiences. It’s natural for that to have a sexual outlet, as sex is such an integral part of our makeup.

My friend says, “Love is like an ocean, not a bathtub. One person doesn’t need to get out in order for another to get in.”

I tweeted that quote and a man replied, “But you can be eaten by sharks, capsized in a storm, captured by pirates, sunk by torpedoes in the ocean, much less likely in bath.”

This man very wisely observed that embarking on emotional uncharted territories comes with risk. But it can also reap huge rewards.

Polyamory IS more complicated. Polyamory is NOT superior. I strive to find other poly people who are as stable as we are, and keep coming up short. As I watch my friends cycle through their maddening poly dramas, I wonder if it’s such a good relationship model, after all. But here’s a thought:  maybe the goal isn’t to have a healthy relationship.

Maybe the unspoken goal is to intensify the living experience.

Just as some people express their passions through salsa dancing, running marathons, or climbing mountains, polys follow their passion through loving. Since sex is so taboo in our society, polys are more often misunderstood and feared than people with mainstream passions.

It’s endearing for a woman to run a cupcake blog and bake a different cupcake recipe every day of the year. It’s admirable for a couple to grow prized orchids or breed teacup Chihuahuas. But to love Peggy AND Sue at the same time? That’s scary.

And no matter how much of a trainwreck the poly person is portraying on Twitter, he or she is living open and honestly in a culture that treats sex as something to be ashamed of. I have huge respect for their authentic approach.

Here’s a little secret: polyamorous relationships often include sex (some joke that is should be called polyfuckery), but not always. I’ve had several people contact me describing their unusual situation: for example, the wife’s best friend has been living with them for over five years. There’s no sex involved, but they do everything together, they consider her part of the family, and they even joke about her being “his other wife.” They ask me, is that poly?

I say yes. The poly groups I’ve polled agree with me.

Accidental vs Intentional Polyamory

Sometimes polyamory is accidental, and sometimes it is intentional.

When it’s accidental, your heart slips and goes to a place you had no idea existed. It can be confusing, and when you later find out what you’re doing has a NAME, it can be a relief. It even happens to swingers sometimes!

My friend and fellow Sex Positive St Louis co-founder David Wraith has been polyamorous since grade school, when he had two girlfriends on the playground who knew about each other. His intimate relationships have overlapped on and off his entire life. But he didn’t realize he was polyamorous until about eight years ago.

The intentional polyamory journey looks something like this: you have an epiphany at some point about an alternative way of loving without lying or omitting. Maybe it happens while you’re reading the book Sex at Dawn, or listening to a Sex is Fun podcast that offers you some life-changing food for thought in a non-threatening manner. Maybe after that, you read the book Opening Up by Tristan Taromino, look into poly forums online, or search the web for local poly support groups.

However you get there, you start to think outside the cage.

Before you dive in, however, please take note: Regardless of the relationship style, the following traits are desirable for ANY healthy relationship: agreeability, confidence, conscientiousness, and, the trickiest one — being emotionally stable.

In order to be emotionally stable, you need to embrace honesty and love yourself and others for who they are.

There’s a lot of talk about the importance of honest communication. Here is what that means: talking to your loved ones about EVERYTHING, including things they might not want to hear.

Guess what? You’re not allowed to say, “I married my best friend,” and then keep secrets from them. You should be able to be yourself and share everything with your best friend.

So often we aren’t allowed to be ourselves with the people we love the most, so we resort to self-medicating with drugs, alcohol, or ice cream, or sharing our secrets with strangers – therapists, sex workers, hairdressers, angry, anonymous ranting blogs.

What if we turned this broken model on its head and replaced the fear in our hearts with love?

That is how my partner and I have chosen to do things, and it is leading the two of us to self-actualization and full integration. I don’t think there’s anything more liberating than being fully integrated.

Until a person’s sexuality no longer comes into play when judging character, value or status in society, we will be held back from achieving this healthy ideal.

My partner and I have opened our minds and hearts, and have tapped into a deep well of love and good energy that knows no bounds.

As for our friends and lovers, our love is fluid. They come in town, we love them for the weekend, and then we release them back into the ocean like a message in a bottle. The respect and acceptance is there, and so is the glorious freedom.

365 Fetishes!

Sat, 12/30/2017 - 11:31

One year on Twitter, I listed one of my fetishes every day.

Fetish: something that sexually charms you.

I went back and looked at the list and was turned on and amused!

Here is the list in its entirety – I replaced about ten of them. If I’ve featured one in a post, I will link it to that post.

Mmmm, I want them ALL! Do any themes jump out at you? It’s clear I’m into hair, booze, and incest!

What about you – how many things turn YOU on?


1. Hairy chest
2. Steel handcuffs
3. Having my lingerie ripped (panties, stockings, fishnets)
4. Fireplaces
5. Sideburns
6. Scars
7. Redheaded women
8. Pre-1968 Elvis

Mood lighting

9. Reaction cologne
10. Impregnation
11. Sleeping Beauty
12. Fishnets
13. Feeling hard cock through jeans/pants
14. Incest Fantasies
15. Wit
16. Austria
17. Werewolves
18. My man’s cum inside my pussy
19. Librarians
20. Japanese Gardens
21. Cuckqueaning
22. Bruce Springsteen
23. Firetrucks
24. Bubble baths
25. Magic Wand
26. Limerence
27. Jewfros
28. Arched doorways
29. A REAL beard
30. Mood lighting
31. Castles
32. Professors
33. Long skirts
34. Trees
35. Victorian Homes
36. Flasks
37. Hairy underarms
38. Spanking
39. Scarves
40. Confidence
41. Classical music
42. Braids
43. V-Safe Men
44. Henna
45. Period films
46. Lumberjacks

Get it nice and pink!

47. Hippie chicks
48. Argyle
49. Manly broad shoulders
50. Gay Bears
51. Straight Bears
52. Ursa bears
53. Winking – such a confident, sexy gesture
54. Average size cock
55. Small breasts
56. Beard stubble
57. Watching others dance
58. Watching a man shave
59. Libraries
60. Reclining Pan at St Louis Art Museum
61. Wood dildos
62. Old men breastfeeding

Tapio wooden dildo

63. Godiva chocolate
64. Silverback gorillas
65. Strong, striking eyebrows
66. Love
67. Myself. I suffer from high self-esteem.
68. That oh-so-soft spot between a man’s sideburn and his ear
69. Female orgasm
70. Vikings
71. BDSM
72. Glass dildos
73. Spontaneous, HOT threesomes, foursomes and moresomes

Sheeny henna hip

74. Eating pussy
75. A persona’s natural skin color
76. A person’s natural hair color
77. Natural breasts
78. Patience
79. Sexual dimorphism
80. Daddy/daughter roleplaying
81. Grey hair
82. Old gentlemen doctors with horned rimmed glasses & a South Carolina accent
83. Guys with twats, men with pussies, boys with cunts
84. Cocktails
85. Tuxedos
86. Debauchery
87. Good stage presence
88. Flossing
89. Bestiality fantasies
90. mff (male-female-female threesome)
91. Timpani
92. Centaurs
93. Eyeglasses
94. All holes filled on a holy day
95. Doggies. Woof.
96. Naughty fairy tales
97. Undressing a man (loosening his tie, unbuttoning his shirt…)


98. The sound of a zipper being unzipped
99. Road head
100. Open window…fill in the blank
101. Game of Thrones
102. Whores
103. Schoolgirls – but not the real kind OR the sleazy kind
104. Suggestive images that leave something to the imagination
105. A picnic table in the woods. It looks SO inviting, splinters be damned!
106. Compersion
107. Nude woman/fully clothed man
108. The Bear Jew
109. Hip hop music
110. Two hot hairy men kissing
111. Dirty talk
112. Boy shorts
113. Him spitting on me
114. Exhibitionism
115. Being surrounded by comfort. Feeling safe. After care.
116. Cream pies
117. Picturesque countryside
118. Words with the letter L in them
119. Oysters
120. A mop of curly hair
121. Men who own more than one pair of stylish shoes

Do you follow The Code of the West?

122. Sensuality
123. Sparkle & glitter
124. Being accepted for who I am. Not having to hide.
125. Wolverine
126. Having my hair washed
127. Chocolate covered strawberries
128. Liberator Wedge
129. Snowballing
130. Leonard Cohen
131. Cowboys
132. Thunderstorms
133. Beauty & the Beast
134. Women’s bellies
135. Being pinned down
136. Keg bellies
137. Sharing a bottle
138. Watching a guy jerk off
139. Tindersticks
140. Bareback sex
141. Watching a man ejaculate
142. Uncle/niece roleplaying

I love contrast.

143. People who know things I don’t
144. Belly chains
145. His sweat dripping on me
146. Forced orgasm
147. Babysitter roleplaying
148. Brother/sister roleplaying
149. Being naked in the woods
150. Cuckolding
151. Belly dancers
152. Men Who Drink Whiskey
153. Bodystockings
154. Female ejaculation
155. Cellos
156. Orthodox Jews

Cabin in the woods!

157. Brad Pitt killing Nazis
158. Wolfman fight scene
159. My man cumming inside me and some other guy licking it out
160. Pubic hair
161. Impressive sex toy collections
162. Snap button shirts
163. Bulls
164. Lean, rugged grandpas who have been arrested
165. Rolling meadows
166. Fucking outdoors
167. Skinny dipping
168. Barns
169. Mouthwash
170. Green smells


171. Crow’s feet
172. Iceland
173. Women’s backs
174. Flogging
175. Isabella Rossellini
176. Beethoven
177. Public sex
178. Velvet
179. The sun
180. Aphrodite
181. Orgies
182. Michelangelo’s David
183. Harry Houdini
184. Being circled & sniffed
185. Crying during sex

Crotchless panties come in handy

186. Knights
187. Girl piles
188. Rome, Italy
189. Watching him smoke a cig or cigar.
190. Big black men
191. Clan of the Cave Bear
192. Seeing my man’s cum on another woman
193. Courtesans
194. Guerrilla confederate soldiers
195. Watching my man fuck someone else through a crack in the door
196. Polyamory
197. Pearl showers
198. Midori
199. Vintage porn


200. Nature
201. Nuru gel
202. Paris, France
203. Stud in nose
204. Incubus
205. Opera
206. Tank top with no bra on a woman
207. Men who can cook
208. Big noses
209. Alexey Steele
210. Wineries
211. Cocksucking
212. Pirates
213. Being photographed
214. Getting massaged
215. Getting massaged by more than one person at the same time
216. Good hygiene

This was taken in a shady glen in the country

217. Heavenly bodies
218. Getting titillating pics from my man when he’s on a date with someone else
219. Barbarian bikinis
220. Silk
221. Button up shirts
222. The word fuck
223. Werebears
224. Truffle salt
225. Aural sex
226. Kevin Spacey jerking off in the shower
227. Cock worship
228. Ugly Jewish men rapping
229. Raquel Welch

After we took our jeans off!

230. Kissing with chemistry
231. New York City
232. Drag kings
233. Anal orgasms
234. Rape fantasies
235. Getting paid for sex
236. The moon
237. Watching animals have sex
238. mfm (male-female-male threesome)
239. Growling
240. Patience
241. Latin lovers
242. Reconnecting after you or your partner has been with someone else
243. Jews – they are the Chosen People, after all
244. Anticipation
245. Maturity
246. Bodyguards
247. Mint juleps

Crowning Glory

248. Churches
249. Abandoned buildings
250. Burlesque
251. Pregnant women
252. Golden showers
253. Pit bulls
254. Women’s shoulders
255. Ethiopian food
256. Having my underarms caressed, nuzzled, kissed
257. The colors burgundy & gold
258. Seeing my man’s cum. On me. On her. Anywhere.
259. Sexy music
260. Stallions
261. A beautiful woman fisting me
262. Facefucking
263. Flute
264. Being sung to
265. A man vacuuming
266. Getting flogged
267. Books

Great titles on great topics!

268. Autumn
269. True, natural Doms
270. Being caged for one day
271. Erotica
272. The smell of whiskey & tobacco
273. My blood on his cock
274. October!
275. Burgundy hemp rope
276. Lions
277. My man’s two day old undershirts
278. My K necklace
279. Country music
280. Royalty
281. A good mindfuck
282. Musicians
283. Burgundy, France
284. Doc Holliday

We are strong.

285. My hips locked in someone’s hands
286. A man’s treasure trail on his belly
287. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow
288. Basking in his power
289. Cemeteries
290. American Beauty
291. Cowboy mustache
292. Han Solo and Chewbaccca
293. Being fluid bonded
294. Wifebeaters
295. Iron & Wine
296. Snoring
297. His strength
298. Beasts
299. A sense of humor
300. Good energy replacing bad energy
301. See through panties
302. Writing about something that makes my crotch tingle all over again
303. Gay porn
304. French accent/language
305. Writers
306. A cock so hard it’s shiny
307. Buttonfly jeans
308. Hearing a loosened belt buckle clang during sex
309. Voyeurism
310. Cumming in front of a roomful of people while a hot chick eats me
311. The blues

Photo by Stan Strembicki

312. Fancy hotel rooms
313. Indiana Jones
314. Penn & Teller
315. Scientists
316. Smiling!
317. Bad boys
318. Uncircumcised cock
319. The ocean
320. Female nipples
321. Mozart
322. Barcelona, Spain
323. Violet wand
324. Robert Downey Jr as sexy hairy mofo in Fur
325. Being tied down in a yurt
326. Brown eyes
327. Stained glass
328. Candles
329. Vegetarians
330. Tiger’s eye
331. Belladonna

My penis is all-powerful!

332. Weird fragrances
333. Thigh-hi’s
334. University campuses
335. Men who are not handsome, but sexy (Sean Penn, Tommy Lee Jones)
336. Hosting sex parties
337. Northern Lights
338. Greek gods & goddesses
339. Being called slut or bitch during sex
340. Morning wood
341. Being an all-you-can-eat buffet
342. His cum in his beard
343. Cougars
344. No tattoos
345. Sluts
346. Daddy Doms

My breast.

347. Compassion
348. Intelligence
349. Bookstores
350. Humiliation & degradation play
351. The cabin.
352. MILFs
353. Being read to
354. Fucking under the Christmas tree
355. Being used for pleasure
356. Old men
357. Mutual respect
358. Sharing my partner with others
359. Art museums
360. Luxury sex toys
361. Being eaten from behind
362. Bourbon
363. Artists
364. Being paddled
365. Matthew

Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies

Fri, 12/29/2017 - 11:43

Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies, by Dr. Michael J. Bader

I’ve had the book Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies on my shelf for a long time. It tempted me with its mysterious title and sexy cover (I LOVE oysters, and I LOVE my pearl, if you know what I mean).

Well, I finally dusted it off and read it, and it blew my mind, and I’ve been recommending it to people left and right ever since.

Here’s an intro concept from it that should provoke your thoughts:

“There’s a joke that says that when two people have sex, there are six people in bed: the two lovers and the parents of each of them.”

Is that creepy, true, or both? I hope you’re imagining group sex with your parents right now.

A sampling of the MANY interesting points brought up in this book:

– “Sexual excitement requires that we momentarily become selfish. There needs to be a tension between selfishness and caring, between using and pleasing your partner.”

Do you know what this means? Sometimes, when it comes to sex, you need to be ruthless. You need to let go and stop worrying so much about every little move and just focus on the pleasure. YOUR pleasure.

– The difference between guilt and shame: “Guilt involves beliefs that we are hurting others, while shame involves beliefs that we’re exposed and unworthy in the eyes of others.”

– “When people are aggressive or cruel in their sexual daydreams or practices, it is not because they are primarily sadistic but because they are trying to solve a problem.”

– Have you ever known a woman who is really bitchy toward her male partner? He’s such a nice guy, he tries so hard to cater to her wants and needs, yet she treats him like an annoying puppy? This book explains the reason behind that lopsided dynamic.

– Survivor guilt and unconscious parental jealousy is behind a lot of the issues we face with our parents. Have you ever wondered why someone would start drinking heavily when they became successful in their field? Or why some parents sabotage their kids and excessively criticize instead of support them in their endeavors? This book goes into the details behind those perplexing behaviors, and much more.

All these ideas got me so excited, I contacted the author, Dr. Michael J. Bader, and flooded him with questions:

Are you aware of the current sex-positive movement in the U.S.? Are you noticing any progress in our country when it comes to our bodies/shame/sex? Do you think things are improving? What do you think of all the talk about slut-shaming, body image, sex education – do you think it’s all talk, or is it actually changing mainstream perception?

Also, I thought it was interesting that when I told people about some of the ideas in your book, particularly how our parents can influence our sex lives, they tended to react defensively and shut down. Have you experienced similar feedback?

ALSO, why are so many moms miserable? In your book you keep talking about adults who had sad, sick, miserable martyr moms and distant dads growing up. UGH. Yep, that applies to me, too!  I’m a mom and I’m happy, healthy, well-adjusted person who enjoys a rich and fulfilling sex life – what does that mean for my daughter? Will she end up boring?!

His replies:

Seems to me that the sex-positive movement has gained some steam and it’s a good thing, as it simultaneously evokes the most repressive and reactionary impulses as well!  One thing I feel pretty strongly about and am endlessly curious about, is that I believe that the underlying psychological dynamics of sexual preference and fantasy are universal, so as people become freer and more liberated, they never are liberated from fantasy.  This is good news!

I think of fantasy in the broadest possible way…the how, when, where and what of desire. You may think of being “taken” from the rear by a rough and tumble man when you masturbate, but the dynamics are the same if you just feel turned on by the “look” of such a man, and/or by suggestions of such a relational configuration in a book, picture, film, etc.

Folks who are swinging or experimenting with fetishes, kinky shit, etc., are enacting a fantasy in this definition of it and are motivated by the same need to circumvent pathogenic beliefs.  And those beliefs always involve some variation on the themes of guilt, worry, rejection, helplessness, or inferiority…..

I’m not really sure how someone raised in a family with a happy and robust mother who is not repressed will develop their sexuality. But it is IMPOSSIBLE not to feel some version of survivor guilt and IMPOSSIBLE not to experience feelings of rejection….

Many people resist the notion that dysfunctional families and bad parenting causes personal damage for a variety of reasons. The deepest ones are:  1)  there is an almost ubiquitous unconscious need to psychically protect one’s parents and subtly (or not) minimize their effects on us….the old adage “children would rather be sinners in heaven than saints in hell”  and 2)  there is the fear/fantasy that knowing the developmental origins of something like erotic life or fantasy will spoil it or make it less passionate….of course, this NEVER happens and cannot…

There are social reasons why so many mothers feel victimized and disappointed in their lives and why so many fathers are disconnected from themselves and their families. Our culture is not very kind to families. All the problems that our society faces – sexism, racism, economic insecurity, crime, violence in the media, alienating work, poor education, drugs, cynicism, environmental degradation – intimately affect the lives of parents, influence their state of mind, their self-esteem, and the quality of the energy they put into their relationship to their spouse and children.

Can’t we say that even good parents sometimes fail, and that these failures have psychological consequences for their children? At the same time, we should compassionately acknowledge that these parents also love their children, want them to be happy, and do the best they can to make it possible.

When we look inside the mind, we find the world.

Finally, there is absolutely no correlation whatsoever between how damaged or fucked up someone is, and the types, intensity, or content of their sexual fantasies or preferences. NONE.

There are so many intriguing concepts discussed in this book, I highly recommend it to anyone feeling guilt, shame, doubts, confusion, or even plain old curiosity. Take a journey of self-discovery, and unlock the secret logic of YOUR sexual fantasies.

Planned Threesome

Sat, 12/23/2017 - 12:46

After our spontaneous threesome the other night, I was SO eager for the three of us to get together again! I’m so greedy! I want more more MORE!

Lana came over, and we sat on the back porch and talked over cocktails, relaxing and catching up.

After a while, he asked her if she was down to play that night, and she said yes!

I love her hazel eyes, her bountiful hair, and pert nose. I’m a sucker for pert noses! She has such animated facial expressions, and tells such funny stories. I love her mannerisms. Very mischievous eyes. Also, she has an extremely smooth butt. It’s like really cute butter.

This time, he drew a bubble bath for two! We both easily fit in the tub. He gave us our girl time to sit and talk. He checked in on us, brought us drinks, it was wonderful!

Then we sat on the couch for a while to cool down, the two of us naked with towels.

He led us up to the bedroom, which was bathed in the golden glow of a small, bedside lamp. The king-size bed was adorned with chocolate brown sheets. Mood music played softly in the background.

I crawled up on the bed, and she went to follow me, but he held her back. They stood at the foot of the bed and he kissed her, his hands roaming over her beautiful curves. He knows how much I love watching him with other women. He always looks so hulking, bulging with muscles and bristling with hair, and they always look so petite and smooth.

I got so turned on! Then they joined me, one on either side, and took my nipples in their mouths, encompassing me in their loving energy. I put the vibe on my pussy and it took about a minute for me to explode.

Then she had her turn in the middle. I ate her shaved pussy, exploring the soft, fragrant folds with my tongue.

Then he took over and ate her more hungrily, dishing up multiple orgasms, because she’s that kind of girl.

Then she ate me until I came! It was her first real time oral pleasuring a woman and she was amazing! She even made me squirt a little! oops I didn’t mean to do that.

He took cute pics of us together. Then, one by one, he yanked us down to the foot of the bed by our ankles and made us kneel before him. I fed her his cock, which was ready to rock. We took turns sucking it. I was amazed watching up close what he had told me before – she is really good at sucking dick. She gets so into it.

He said, “You like sucking dick, don’t you?”

She mumbled yes, and started moaning loudly. He urged, “Go ahead. Go ahead and cum with my dick in your mouth.”

She couldn’t help herself,  and bucked, muffled squeals escaping her stuffed mouth. I just crouched there, wide-eyed!

Killing two sluts with one load!

Then he pulled back and came on our tits! It was so much fun. He overshot and got some on the bed.

They tucked me in around 11 because I had to be at work the next morning and I didn’t want to suffer again like I did last time. He assured me, “We won’t do anything.”

I told him, “All I want is for you to wrap up your evening, then come back and hold me. I want to smell you.” He kissed me tenderly.

As I drifted off to sweet slumber, they went back out on the patio and hung out.

As she stood to leave, she asked coyly, “Can I cum one more time before I go?”

If a beautiful woman asked you that, AND you were a gracious host, what would you do?

He swooped down on her and kissed her passionately, sucked on her tits, fingered her… she propped one leg up on a chair and he wolfishly devoured her pussy. She grabbed his head and panted, “Get it! Get it! GET IT!”

She came a lot and begged to suck his dick again.

He agreed, but told her, “I’m not gonna cum, this one is going in Kendra.”


that got him super revved up! He saw her off, and the next thing I know, he’s not sliding into bed, gathering me up in his big, warm arms.

Instead, he woke me up eating my pussy!

OMG it was so delicious!

I roused just in time to realize he was having his way with me.

He rose up and planted himself between my legs.

“I HAVE to fuck you!” he growled, over and over.

He plowed into me and practically buried me in the bed with his dick.

Finally we came, and as we caught our breath, he let me know how he got in such an agitated state.

I’m glad they ended up doing something, because we all benefited!

David Deida, a wise love guru, counsels men with the following: “If you want another woman, you damn well better take good care of the one you already have!”

I’m so glad Matthew has taken that sage advice to heart!

Spontaneous Threesome

Fri, 12/22/2017 - 19:54

Continued from previous post

Me getting spanked by Matthew! Photo by Mike Estes

We arrived at Hustler’s Taboo night.

Thankfully, we were mature enough not to let anything interfere with our great evening, which is a good thing, because it got better every second…

Taboo was crowded and full of activity. They have quite a bit of equipment – a rope suspension section, couches, spanking benches, St. Andrews Crosses. All were in use, but soon a spanking bench opened up, and we seized it.

I went first so she could watch and get used to the energy of the place. She had some BDSM experience, but nothing public.

I eagerly bent over the bench. I was wearing a sexy little business top and skirt. The skirt hem was asymmetrical, so when I walked or bent over, you could see where my lace stockings met my pale thighs.

He worked me over, grabbing my hair, spanking me, lavishing me with good, hard attention.

I got hot and ripped off my top and bra. Lana glanced around surprised. They allow nudity here!

It was so stimulating and exhilarating! I kept laughing and giggling.

He pinned my arms behind my back and instructed Lana to tend to my top as he tended to my bottom. This guy parked himself right in front of me and stared hard. Not a problem, but he was a little too close for our comfort, so Lana stood at my head, providing a barrier between us. I’m sure he didn’t mind her ass in his face.

We were buzzed and happy.

Next, it was her turn. She had been smacked on the ass during sex, but never had a spanking like this.

He bent her over the bench and started smacking her gently.

She popped up and turned to face him. “You can hit harder than that!”

“I’m warming you up,” he informed her.


She resumed her position.

He spanked her well. I loved watching her face flush, her hair run wild from the bun it was in, lips parted and gasping. He would rub her ass, alternating between spanking it and slipping under the short red hem to rub her pussy through her panties. At one point, he focused on her clit and brought her to orgasm as two men observed.

Boy, we were all warmed up! Ready to seek our entertainment elsewhere, we headed back to her place.

When we got there, we fell into an incredibly hot threesome.

Just like that!


I tell you – we share great chemistry.

Here we were, planning to get together on Sunday and ease into things, but BAM it happened spontaneously that night.

She had never been with a woman before! I had every intention of taking things slow with her, but it felt so natural. I swear, she’s such a natural when it comes to sex. It cums so easily for her, literally!

He had me sit down on the bed. Then, he beckoned Lana over and had her lay between us after removing her top. We both kissed on her, then each took a nipple in our mouth and worshiped it as he pulled her panties aside and fingered her. She came like crazy! She’s adorable when she cums, it’s so sudden, pure, and abundant.

She and I kissed. They kissed. At one point, she spanked my ass!

He put his thrilled dick in her mouth as I ate her pussy and we made her cum that way, mouth stuffed with manmeat, pussy lesbian licked.

Then he asked, “Lana, do you have any condoms?”

She hopped up and grabbed one. He put it on and she got on all fours, arching her back seductively.

He went to enter her and I shimmied up underneath her like a car mechanic and put my arms around her, clinging and kissing her neck as he fucked her.

We rotated and she went down on me for a bit, which I wasn’t expecting!  We 69’ed, then he laid on the bed for his turn. She sat on his face and rubbed orgasms out of his tongue as I sucked his cock.

I kept sucking while she made out with him. She whispered in his ear, “I want to taste you.”

He urged, “Well you better get down there, because I’m cumming NOW!”

I caught half a load in my mouth and pulled away so she could catch the rest. We snowballed in victory!

After we left her place, I was even MORE drunk and horny!

Oh my god I could. not. get. enough.

When we got home, I initiated another round of sex. This time, I grabbed the lube and guided his cock to my ass. I wanted to feel it ALL.

That’s right, I used him until 4am.

In the morning, I woke up at 6:40 horribly hungover. I had to be at work by 7:30.

It was a brutal day, but TOTALLY worth it.

I made it through the work day. The entire time, I thought about our night of debauchery, replaying hot, surreal moments and squirming during meetings.

I also daydreamed about our next threesome, which was three days away…



A Most Romantic and Roguish Fuck Buddy

Fri, 12/22/2017 - 11:00

Ed Note: Here is Matthew’s perspective of the sexy story I posted earlier this week! Another first date success story from the pages of polyamory…

Having been acquainted with this woman for almost a decade, I was happy she contacted me after her recent relationship ended.  Here’s how it transpired….

“I need your help,” she blurted.

Aside from seeing her a couple times out and about, that’s the first message I received from her in more than year. I wasn’t quite sure if she needed help moving, or help with her taxes, or maybe some direct pressure on a wound?!

“Okay, but I’m gonna need more details here,” I replied.

“I need someone…”

“Go on,” I encouraged.

“Okay…I need a fuck buddy. Does that even exist? Is that weird?”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Yes, it exists, and it is absolutely NOT weird!”

The conversation went on from there with me reassuring her that everything she wanted was totally acceptable. I asked her if she had a preference as far as type of person. Male? Female? Brown, white, yellow, big, small, old, young?

“No. I’m really not picky. I just want someone to hang out with, experience some culture, have some drinks, and have sex with no guilt, no drama and no real expectations. Knowing you….I figured you might know where to look.”

To which I replied, “Sounds perfect. How about I start with looking in the mirror?”

“I’m totally interested!” she exclaimed.

Yes!! I’ve always been attracted to her, and received great feedback from her to my flirtatious cues in the past. Now, the timing was finally right. She was well aware of my relationship status, yet still contacted me. That is a major factor in my choosing to see women for anything more than a platonic connection.

I talked it over with Kendra. She was cool with it, and after meeting Lana again a couple of days later, Kendra was excited over the possibility.

The date was set. All details on the table. It was time for Lana and I to get together….

Her hair is truly amazing. She wears it up most often but had hinted at the fact that she liked it played with..sometimes soft…sometimes hard. I greeted her with a kiss and a hug at the door. As she walked into my house I smelled her …subtle ….summer…

We caught up a bit as I poured her a drink and I told her our plans for the evening. I showed her the dress Kendra left for her and she immediately tried it on. She wore it well!!  It accentuated her curves so nicely. A few more drinks and it was almost time for dinner….

“But first, the appetizer,” I said. Taking her hand, I led her to my bedroom…

We kissed deeply and were both into it immediately. She told me a few days earlier that she loved being touched all over, that she could cum from nipple stimulation alone, and that she was multi-orgasmic. Intrigued of course, I wanted to see for myself.

I slid her new dress off and laid her face down on the bed. Applying oil to her body, I massaged her thoroughly. As I made my way down her back, over her ass to her inner thighs, I could feel the heat radiating from her pussy. I grazed it with my pinky a few times as I rounded her thighs with my hands. She squirmed toward me every time I got close to her hot spot and I could wait no longer to turn her over.

I started with her forehead and kissed my way down to her lips, over to her cheek, below her ear. Then I mouthed my way down to her neck, her shoulder, collar bone, breasts…slowing way down, I finally took my time to get her nipple into my mouth. She was writhing as I pulled it into my mouth. It wasn’t long before she exploded into her first orgasm of the evening. I was off….down her soft tummy…kissing her hips..the tops of her thighs…

Almost instantaneously as my tongue graced her clit she came again. Very light at first, I strengthened and widened my tongue over her whole pussy. She soaked my fingers as I probed her with intent. She came again….and again…sucking on her clit, rolling it with my tongue…circling her pussy with my fingers… and again… I could have done that for hours! She tasted, smelled and felt so good. I slowed down and we took a breather.

“Water?” I asked.

“Yessss…  Please….” she gasped.

I got her up after a few minutes and we decided to hit the town. She wanted to wear the dress Kendra had given her and I agreed on two conditions: she was to wear no bra, and she had to wear her hair down, untamed. Excited to oblige, we were off.

We heard some live music, met some new people, enjoyed each other’s company…every once in a while sharing a kiss, or a flirtatious touch. Having not cum myself earlier, my cock was heavy pretty much the entire time we were out of the house. She felt it pulsing at one point and whispered, “Ohhhh. How about a blowjob soon?” Practically bursting at the seams, I paid the bill and we were off again!

She dropped her dress on the way home, exposing her amazingly formed breasts. I told her I wanted her to make herself cum by playing with her nipples, as she told me she was capable of doing. She started pinching her nipples, pulling them toward her tongue, licking them and sucking them, all the while staring at me hungrily. Before long, BAM! she came.

Every woman deserves a candlelit bath.

At the next stop sign, I reached over and started circling her clit with my fingers. She reached for my cock and found it rock hard and pulsing through my jeans.

We got out of the car back at my house safe and sound and I led her to a dark corner of my yard.

Unbuckling my belt, I released my cock from its constraints. She was on her knees immediately, sucking hungrily! “I’m going to cum on your tits!” I growled, and about thirty seconds later, I fucking exploded!!  YESSSSSSSSSS! My cum glistened on her in the moonlight.

Inside, I drew a bath for her and washed her beautiful body with a soft, bubbly cloth. Little did she know, I was washing off the disrespect that had been dealt her by past lovers. I want nothing more than to chew that negative energy up and spit it out for her. Soak it up and transform it into something exquisite.

Something worthwhile.

Lit by candles, we ended the evening with a few more orgasms and great conversation. It was nothing short of lovely, and I’m sure it will be again….and again.


Wed, 12/20/2017 - 09:51

I’ve reached my ideal relationship goal.

At the beginning of our relationship, when my partner Matthew would go on a date, I would lie in bed, heart pounding, unable to sleep until he called me when the date was over. I would imagine all kinds of scenarios, some hot, some scary, and would anxiously hold my breath as he recounted details of the date. As the story would flesh out, I would cautiously relax, but still be slightly wary.

Time and again, after each of these encounters, he would make me feel special and secure in our relationship. I also grew accustomed to the strange sensations.

Nowadays, I can sleep fine when he’s out on a date. I don’t have to be on a date myself, I can be doing my own thing, hanging with my daughter or a friend, or enjoying some alone time. This is a big accomplishment!

Whenever I start to feel jealousy or possessiveness creep in, I remind myself that my partner is not an object. I can’t put him in a closet when I’m not with him. He deserves as much happiness and exploration as I desire for myself.

Here is an example.

Last weekend, I took my daughter on a retreat four hours north of St. Louis. We spent the time frolicking in a tiny village, creating art, making music and friends.

Meanwhile, Matthew had a date scheduled with a new woman, someone we both knew. She was in transition and wanted to find out what polyamory was all about. She approached us about it, asking how it all works. She came to the right people.

With her last boyfriend, she told him she was okay with him being with other women, as long as he let her know about it. Unfortunately, he couldn’t handle being truthful and cheated on her, despite her generous offer!

She knew she deserved better than that, so she decided to make the most of her fresh start.

They had their date. It went from 6pm until 10am that morning – EPIC!

Meanwhile, I played, slept, and felt quite happy and content all around.

He and I talked on the phone after she left his house, and he gave me the salacious rundown.

She arrived at his house, they got food, had dinner.

He gave her a dress I wanted her to have because as beautiful as it was, it was the wrong color for me – I am pale, and she has an olive complexion. She tried the plum, strappy dress on in front of him, and loved it! He sent me a pic of her wearing the dress. She filled it out so nicely, and looked radiant.

She was excited to wear it out with him sans bra and panties, but before she did that, he gave her a full body, warm oil massage, and ate her pussy to shivering orgasm. He kept his pants on that round.

They went out to hear a band. They ran into some guy friends and confused the heck out of them. Did Matthew and Kendra break up? No. Was Matthew cheating on Kendra? No! That blew their MiNd!

He explained our relationship and how honest and free it was, and she snuggled up against him and laid her pretty head on his chest, smiling. It didn’t bother her one bit to hear him talk about me. I was glad to hear that. She GETS it.

On the car ride home, she said ever-so-cutely, “Oops! My top fell down.”

He turned and saw her large breasts hanging out. Of course he fondled them, asking if she liked her nipples pinched. She said yes, so he manhandled them as they drove, and she came like crazy. This woman is extremely orgasmic.

By the time they got back to his house, he was raging hard and couldn’t wait to get inside. So he didn’t. He asked her to suck his dick, which she did immediately, right there in the grass. I’m told she’s a great cocksucker.

He told her he wanted to cum on her tits, and he did, under the light of the silvery moon.

Then they went inside and he drew her a bath in his magic spa tub. He lit candles, put on music, and she basked in the warm bubbles.

After the bath, she sat next to him on the couch in a robe. She kept teasing him, flashing him playfully.

That got him revved up again, so he requested a cocksucking encore.

His wish was her command!

She got down on her knees again and happily obliged. At one point, while she was gung ho in the sloppy blowjob, she took his hand and put it on the back of her head. He loved that! That was her way of telling him to commence the facefucking, so that went down hardcore.

You really should click to enlarge.

When he was about to cum, he took his hand off the back of her head and growled that he was close. Earlier he let her know he didn’t care what she did with his cum, so he figured she would pull back and he would cum on her tits again.

Instead, she took his load in her mouth, swished it around, then grabbed an empty beer bottle that was sitting on the table. She spat it into the bottle.

He took this pic to share with me, and now I’m sharing it with all of you! Can you see her beautiful breasts framing the bottle? Pics like this are so sexy to me – they leave a lot to the imagination. Somehow, this image of a naked chick in front of a beer bottle with cum in it turned out classy! It all depends on the lighting and the people I suppose.

Then I think he worked her over again until she came a few more times. They finally fell asleep snuggled together, her head on his chest.

Wow. Didn’t it sound like three dates in one? You can read his version here…

I heard all this and got so turned on! I didn’t bring any toys with me, so I had to resort to my old-fashioned hand when my daughter went off to play with her friend. I came thinking of his cum in her mouth, the sounds they made…

She said she’d like to be with both of us some time. She’s never been with a woman before! I’d love for both of us to suck on her tits at the same time since she’s so into that.

Hot-n-heavy sigh!

UPDATE! We had a spontaneous threesome the other night! I have to tell you about it. And right now, she’s on her way over for an encore! And in between that, we’ve had post-worthy dates with a beautiful couple. So much sex, so little time! I hope we document it all before it slips away, but if it does, please fill in the blanks and make your own fantasies cum true……..


I’m Going Places!

Tue, 12/05/2017 - 12:35

One of my goals is to get out of St Louis once a month for a change of scenery.

In 2017, I went to Iceland, New York, Kansas City, Indiana, Virginia, Rhode Island, Florida – and I even went crazy a few times! I’m so glad I finally got my mid-life crisis under control, PHEW!

Next up on my itinerary is a National Sex Ed Conference in New Jersey Dec 5-10 – I get to see Dr Ruth and Dr Elders in real life!

2018 is shaping up nicely – for our 10th cabinversary, we’re trying out a new cabin! It doesn’t have a hot tub, but it does have a wood burning fireplace, which is KEY.

We disappear here.

I’ll be hitting KC again in Feb, and in March I’ll be presenting at Eroticon in LONDON!

Eroticon 2018 in London!

It’s great timing, because the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2017 was just announced, and I’m #9 on the list!

My presentation is called Shocking the System: When Your True Life Tales Cross the Line.

Showing off my kinky bitch look

By the time I’m finished telling my tales, people will either love me or hate me!

How Many Bodies Have You Had?

Wed, 11/22/2017 - 12:51

We all get one body as the vessel that carries us through life.

We can take care of our bodies, or we can abuse our bodies.

I take care of my body by walking daily. On the days my schedule allows, I take a dawn walk, a day walk, and a dusk walk. Sometimes, I take a dark walk, which always feels risky.

I abuse my body by putting poison in it – sugar, processed food… don’t you wish we could hook ourselves up to a machine every night and remove all the bad stuff we put into our bodies that day? ha!

Our one body goes through so many phases!

This is my baby body (are the photos small for you? Click on them to enlarge)

My birthday suit, aka my first nude photoshoot

This is my pregnant body

Me at 27, 39 weeks pregnant

This is my body in 2010

Me in 2010, photo by Stan Strembicki

This is me in 2017

Me in 2017. Photo by Stan Strembicki

I didn’t mean to take the photos for comparison, otherwise I would have used the same lighting. I just noticed the similar pose, and the striking contrast.

One of the exercises I do in my surrogate sessions is Body Show And Tell. From head to toe, we take turns giving a body tour. We talk about our hair, our freckles, scars, tattoos, what parts of our bodies we like and don’t like.

It’s odd and liberating! It’s fun taking inventory our what we have. Take a moment to be thankful for your body, and do something nice for it this week!

How to Receive Head: 3 Simple Suggestions

Wed, 11/01/2017 - 10:00

There are a great many resources on giving oral sex. From videos and articles, books and blog posts, one can find all kinds of information on how to give great blowjobs and eat some fierce pussy. But what about being skilled at receiving it?

Huh? Yes, you read that right.

Oral sex should satisfy both the giver and receiver at the same time, albeit not necessarily in the same way, but satisfying nonetheless. In order to make that happen, the receiver needs to be as active, at least mentally, as the giver. You have to find out what your partner likes. How? Here are some thoughts from my partner, Matthew…

You deserve oral worship. 1. Be Assertive

This is a big one. Don’t be afraid talk to your partner. This may take some getting used to for both of you. Some people find it embarrassing or “not right” to talk about sex openly, let alone talk while having it. Tell your partner what you like about what they are doing. Let them know they are making you feel good! “That feels amazing!” or “Yes!!  Right there!” are great places to start.

You can also fantasize with your partner through speech. If you know about a particular fantasy your partner has, or you have one of your own, try acting that out. Maybe she is your secretary or co-worker. Maybe he is that young stud you’ve been wanting to have your way with for a while. Roleplaying and fantasy are great ways to live out desires without the possible repercussions of actually doing them. The possibilities are endless, but you’ll never know any of them until you try.

Lastly, but certainly not in the least, if and when you have an orgasm, in the name of all that is good; vocalize it. “Yesssss!!!”  “I’m Cumming!!!” “Holy Fucking Shit!” or whatever comes out. (On the subject of whatever comes out: Men – do not surprise your partner with a mouthful of cum. You must let them know you are about to release so they can control where it goes. Unless of course you’ve talked about it and know what your partner prefers.)

2. Be Active

This can happen in numerous ways. Of course you shouldn’t immediately jam your dick down their throat or suffocate them with your grinding pussy. Start with a slight push toward them. Pay attention to their reaction or ask them if they like that. If they do, then you can push or grind a bit more. You’ll eventually find a comfortable amount for both of you. Keep in mind, everyone is different in their preferences. Some people like their face smothered or their mouth fucked hard and they get great pleasure from it.

Try touching their head, shoulder, cheeks, or hair in different ways. Remember always start lightly and move to more intense sensations. If you find your partner enjoys their hair gripped and head controlled, do it. If you find your partner likes his face ground into and thighs clinched around his cheeks, do it. It will make is more pleasurable for them.

3. Be Adaptive

Don’t get get stuck receiving oral in the same place, at the same time, in the same way, for the same reason. Try new positions like standing or lying on your side. Different environments can offer amazing amounts of excitement. Of course you need to be very mindful of some environments (i.e. elevators, cars, public bathrooms, dressing rooms, parking garages, wooded areas, etc.), but great pleasure can be realized from short sessions of oral sex. It doesn’t always have to be done to orgasmic completion. After all, foreplay and build up are great pleasure paths.

Certainly this list of thoughts and suggestions is just that. Everyone is different and derives pleasure in different ways. However, not many people want to feel like what they are doing is not appreciated. If you keep that in mind, you can come up with many more ways to make oral sex an even more amazing part of your life.

Now, go forth, and receive head.

What are your oral sex tips?